Uber Heart Attack

Uber Heart Attack

Uber Heart Attack

So I want to tell you how you’re going to die…and me too – statistically speaking – and it’s not what you think.

You see you’re most likely to die from Uber drivers giving you a heart attack. For real. But it’s not the drivers fault.

Your Future Work

So imagine this – in the future you’re going to just stay home and work only when you’re called in.

Your boss assesses the onsite needs and calls you and coworkers in when needed. When the boss calls, you catch an Uber, and are dropped off to provide your onsite energy.

Well work is going to get busier and busier. The boss is going to call you more regularly, and you start staying overnight, and even long term. The boss starts hiring and calling more people to come in.  The office building gets packed and people cram shoulder to shoulder.

You really can’t get anything done like this, but the work keeps coming in, so the boss calls more people. More Uber drivers start filling the streets.

Uber Streets

Soon there are more workers coming to work than can fit in the office. So, you and other workers have to start waiting outside in your Ubers.

The boss gets overwhelmed by the work and stops calling in workers. And they just sit and wait outside.

Now the streets start to get a bit dangerous. Because work that’s supposed to be done inside is literally stuck outside, and to make matters worse illegal work is invading the streets too.

So it gets real shady outside, you don’t dare get out of your Uber until you know you can get into your building.

As a result traffic starts to build up on the streets, cars get damaged and the neighborhood gets worse.

Street Solution

Well luckily Uber, always thinking ahead, also offers repair services and carries repair men in each ride.

So what happens is accidents and vandalism escalate, the Uber drivers pull over on the side of the road and the repair men get to work. The police are then called in to help and tow-away totaled cars.

The streets become lined with damaged cars, car repair men working and police trying to get things in order.

Traffic gets worse. The road gets blocked with cars waiting with workers wantiking to get in, cars being repaired from the damage, and police men trying to help.

And just like that – no more cars can get through, a complete traffic blockage. And you have a heart attack.

The Key

So here’s the key to this story and maybe not dying from Uber drivers.

I think it’s more fun to use the key to decipher the story, but if you’re lazy like me, I also have a brief explainer below.

Uber Key

Uber Heart Attack – Whose Fault?

For many years we blamed the cars for jamming up the streets. But it’s not the cars fault or the workers or repair men or police.

The clogged road is from the overwhelming amount of work that accumulates and can no longer be handled that then causes a spiral of danger and damage and eventual blockage.

If you look at the key – the uber cars represent LDL cholesterol – the so-called “bad cholesterol.” But Uber cars just go where they’re called. And they take passengers with them: cholesterol – the repair men – and triglycerides – the workers.

The police force is the immune system that responds with inflammation to help with the damage.

So let’s boil this down to what the real problem is –

There’s an abundance of work, that signals the boss to call in workers, but there’s not enough room to get them inside. As work piles up, the boss gets overwhelmed and quits letting people in all together. This leads to traffic in a worsening environment that gets blocked with cars, and repair, and police.

Said another way – there’s an abundance of glucose, blood sugar, that signals insulin to get the glucose and triglycerides inside, but cells are full, and eventually stop hearing the knock at the door, and get insulin resistant. Glucose and LDL hang out in the blood creating a dangerous and damaging environment where LDL parks in the artery walls, cholesterol fills them up and the police stuff it further.

Then you have atherosclerosis.

Avoiding an Uber Heart Attack

My advice to avoiding an Uber heart attack is not to worry so much about the number of cars (LDL) or repair men (cholesterol) – But reduce the amount of work the system has to deal with and keep illegal work off the streets.

This keeps the neighborhood nice and traffic flow smooth.

How – avoid sugar and refined carbs – these increase the work load significantly and call in lots of workers. Avoid highly oxidizable vegetable oils and inflammatory foods – this illegal work makes the neighborhood far more dangerous for the cars.

When cars get backed up and damaged and repair men and police line the streets that’s when we die of an uber heart attack.


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